


Delusions.

by hamish_adler_holmes



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: His Last Vow Spoilers, M/M, Sherlock - Freeform, Sherlock spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-07
Updated: 2014-02-07
Packaged: 2018-01-11 13:31:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1173638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hamish_adler_holmes/pseuds/hamish_adler_holmes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>WARNING: SPOILERS FROM 'HIS LAST VOW'  Sherlock has been shot by Mary and is fading in and out, then has to decide what he's going to do about John and Mary.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Delusions.

**Author's Note:**

> SEASON 3 SPOILERS.

It started with a blur. All Sherlock saw was Mary's face, and the only thing that crossed his mind was keeping John away from all of it. He had already seen the effects of Sherlock's fake death--and he was not someone he loved. Then there was the pain, and he was suddenly on his back, and he could feel himself starting to convulse. He escaped to his Mind Palace, to numbness, to Redbeard, and he faded out. He vaguely felt someone shaking him and heard John's voice like a song in the back of his head. "Sherlock? Sherlock. What's wrong, what happened?" A mumbled answer from somewhere unknown and the pain and panic in John's voice as he dug for his phone and dialled 999, croaking the situation into the phone and holding onto Sherlock's shoulder. "Sherlock, stay with me. Sherlock, we're losing you." He knew people were around him working on him, and he so wanted to call back to John to let him know it was okay, he was okay, that he was just going to sleep for a while, but he couldn't make his mouth work. He tried to move his arms, but they were trapped by an invisible weight, the same weigt that was pushing down on Sherlock's chest with a crushing force. And he decided in that moment that it was better to sleep. Then the words--"John Watson is definitely in danger now." And suddenly he was more awake than he had been in a long time. And he heard a steady beep, not changing, and as he opened his eyes he heard the beeping slowly pick up. The crushing weight was leaving him, but the pain, the pain was still there. 

He heard the beeping again and someone's hand on his. Embarrassingly, the beeping sped up as he realized who's hand it was. The warmth, the weight, it was John's. And the beeping was giving him away, he could see the smile on John's face even though his eyes were closed. He sighed, but even that hurt. He opened his eyes slowly to see that John was smiling, but the smile slipped away and was replaced with a look of concern. Sherlock smiled, or at least he hoped it was a smile and not a grimace from all the pain. He had to hide it for John. "Mary..." he grunted, before fading out again. And Mary's voice, telling him to keep it to himself, and Sherlock knew before he fully made the decision that he wasn't going to tell John what had happened. He couldn't hurt John. But as he lay there, he knew that he needed to tell him, but it couldn't be from Sherlock's mouth. It had to be from Mary's. And he turned the taps on his morphine, and he began to plan what he would do, texting Anderson and telling him to return John's chair to where it had been. He had moved it because it was too much--he hated seeing the chair empty, it only reminded him of the empty space all around the flat, the emptiness that filled him at losing the one person he had finally let in. And he knew in his heart that no matter how long John stayed, the detective would never really have Sherlock back to himself. John would always belong to Mary, always be haunted by what he had done. So he knew he had to make it right for John. But it was conflicting within him, so he turned the taps that sent him into the morphine haze, to escape the madness that his life had become.


End file.
